We won't sleep together?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
How's work?
Spinning.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
