His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
