dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
