I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
