Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am midnight drunk by noon
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
