If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
