We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
