it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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