going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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