He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
