I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
