where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
