HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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