If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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