He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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