he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
