NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
