I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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