Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
