Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
