Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Let's paint friendship bongs
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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