this beer tastes like vomit already
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
