went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
