Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
