I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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