"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
