I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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