Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
