my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
