So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
