I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
