By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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