I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
