We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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