If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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