Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
