I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Oh god it's open bar.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
