I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
