RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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