I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
