Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Two words: nipple clamps
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