So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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