never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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