I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
