you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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