I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
