I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
honey bunches of taint.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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