My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
