this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
