I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
